Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Funny Story: MBB Fashion Show Starring Mr. Bird Crap

From the Desk of King in Miami
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*The MBB FASHION SHOW was awesome, but here is a funny story about something that happened during the show.*
It seems every time I go to some weekend Pride event something crazy happens. Whether it be in New York, with a man jumping in front on my subway train or being stalked by an online acquaintance during my last Atlanta trip. This trip was no different. I had the privilege to sit next to this darling young lady visiting from Atlanta. She was truly the life of the fashion show with her off-the-cuff comments, that had our whole section laughing during the show. For instance, during the show it was very obvious that some of our fabulous male models may have been gay from the settle twist in their walk. It was in no way obvious, but you know I had my gaydar up and you just knew, who was and who was not. I think Ms. Atlanta must have been a gay man in a previous life, because she was clocking everyone's "tee" as well. We all agreed "the twist" was not a good thing when modeling for the general public at a men's fashion show. So when a "suspect" model would twist by, she would say out loud, sarcastically "PULL IT BACK", suggesting the model get rid of the slight twist in their walk. The surrounding people would just die in laughter. It was kind of rude, but still hilarious. You couldn't do anything but laugh. Even the straight people around us, knew what we were referring too. But that was just the start of the evening.

Before the show, there were a few seats left in a standing room only show, so we were asked to have a seat in the VIP section. Me, Ms. Atlanta, and another guy from South Carolina, sat in the back row. We had been seated for a little bit of time, and were enjoying the show, when I heard Ms. Atlanta say, EEEWWWHHHH! I looked down the row at her and Mr. South Carolina, and on his arm was a long, thick clump of BIRD CRAP! It was NASTY! I think the bird must have had diarrhea or something because it was runny and all. Luckily we all had beach towels, so he just wiped it off. No big deal. Meanwhile, the whole row was looking up to try to see if there was a bird above us. No Bird. Hmmmm. The whole time Ms. Atlanta was saying,"I do not want any bird crap on me. If I get any bird crap on me, it's going to be over and there will be problem." And she kept saying it, over and over and over. I giggled and continued to watch the show. About 15 minutes later, I hear Ms. Atlanta, say EEEWWWHHH! I look at her, she looks at me then, I look down at my shoulder. We had been hit again, but this time Mr. Bird Crap had gotten me....right on the shoulder. I said, "WTF!" and looked up again. No Bird to be found. Again, Ms. Atlanta, said, "If I get bird crap on me, so help me God." I wiped if off with beach towel and laughed. The whole time, Ms. Atlanta and I, had been laughing; bumping and leaning into each other. We both were having a grand ole time, when I look down and notice something. I look over at her shoulder, and guess what...she had been hit by.... Mr. Bird Crap. I should have been a friend and told her, but I was afraid she would have jumped in the pool during the show trying to get it off. So, we were all hit by Mr. Bird Crap. Only two of us knew it though. *TRUE STORY*

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