This last year has been a world wind of an emotional roller coaster for me with so much going on from school to a relationsip to moving to NYC now to dealing on a daily basis with the death of my father who passed away today last year. I was an emotional wreck and had a break down due to the fact that i didnt get to getanswers to questions that I was longing for my entire life as to why this man didnt want to be apart of my life. Now that he is gone he is permantely gone and i will never be able to ask the questions. Growing up Iwas able to kind of adjust not having him around and i came to the realization early this week talking to my mother that I acted out and was a bad child growing up due to me wantin to fill that void that i so desperately needed and wanted in my life and couldnt have. And now my litter sister is going through what me and my mom have come to the conclusion that she is going through that void of not having her dad around who has been in and out of prison. With my father he just didnt want anything to do with his 4 kids. But I do miss the man dearly strangely enough and hope to reunite with him in heaven get to get that bond that i didnt have when he was present here on earth.
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