Saturday, May 31, 2014

Saturday Morning Rant

It was just one of those days where I want to be alone. Yes the lyrics from Monica song,so i will try my best not to take it person al even thou its hard too.  Often times i am sensitive as shit, and for no particular reason,it just is what it is.  I guess that's the cancer in me, but should i use astrology as an excuse for my behavior? The world may never know huh? Am a nice as they come and its a gift and a curse in some degrees because its like an arrow on my head waiting to pierce me and i don't think i will ever take heed to the pain that it sometimes causes me, you would think i would have learned by now,but maybe i enjoy the pain? what does that say about my mental state? I mean how in their right state of mind would enjoy being in pain? But with each hurdle in life, i keep pushing on and sometimes in amazement i look back on life and am like wow, i survived all of that, I guess am built ford tough lol. From homelessness,being diagnosed with HIV, to abandonment issues from my father, to not always feeling and yearning for the love and affection of others who often times i shouldn't have yearn for but it was like a drug addict waiting for its next fix, I just had to have it and would do anything to have it and at any cost.